These last few days I have been having serious doubts about going back to school. I officially started lectures this week and I have managed to watch 3 of them. Being online, I have the flexibility to watch them at any time and almost any place. However, that is not the reason for this post.

I am extremely excited about the opportunity to be able to take most of the classes offered in this program. The business component of the program makes it quite an attractive offer and I would have to say that was the biggest “attraction” and incentive for me to join this program. Now, I have always had reservations about a few of the classes and what is the true concentration of the program. “Embedded systems” is the emphazis and most of the students in the program do work in the field and have both the practical and academic experience in the area. I knew I was going to have to put extra effort to be able to get through these classes but I never thought it was going to be this hard.

I have watched a few of the lectures and read a couple of chapters in the books and I am “lost”. I am usually quite interested in technology and so I thought this was going to be another way to keep me motivated through the harder parts of these courses. However, I cannot seem to find an interest to the whole embedded systems field. I have always been interested in the software-side of computer science/engineering but this is quite different. I really don’t see myself going into this area of business once I am done with the program.

And that is what I am having a hard time dealing with. I want to take advantage of this opportunity but I feel that it is coming at a high “price”. I will have to put a lot of time and effort into these 4-5 classes, so that I can take advantage of the business curriculum, and at the end I will have a MS in a field that at this point in time I do not find much interest for. I am questioning if I should really persue this opportunity after all.

You would aks yourself why am I am having a hard time when it appears that I have made a decision and the answer is that I don’t want to disappoint anyone including myself. Your thoughts?

UPDATE: I looked into other programs offered by the department and I would be pretty much stuck with one of these 2 classes I am taking now and I would be able to get the business core classes that I wanted so I have decided to put my head down and swim against the current for the remainder of this term. After that, things should open up for a little while and that will be good time to recover.

Thank you to those of you that wrote or called in offering your support and your advice. It really means a lot to me and I really appreaciate and respect your input. So now what? I guess I will be adding a “school” category to my blog!